【BOOK】心理學如何幫助了我：享受美好人生的八堂生活課

心理學如何幫助了我：享受美好人生的八堂生活課
作者： 劉軒 

劉軒，相信我這輩的人都很熟，因為從小看劉墉的書，所以對劉軒不陌生，書中寫到他回台的原因，看了蠻驚訝的。

這是本深入淺出書，有一點寫中我心，看了眼眶含淚有好多感觸。

書中有提到心理學家Arthur Aron設計的36個問題，和對方一起回答這36個問題，就能讓人相愛，真那麼神？？先記下來，以備不時之需

1. 世界上任何一個人都能選，你會想要選誰來做晚餐對象？
Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. 你想成為名人嗎？什麼樣的名人？
Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. 在打電話前你會排練你將要說什麼嗎？為什麼？
Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say? Why?

4. 哪些事會組成你的「完美」的一天？
What would constitute a perfect day for you?

5. 你上一次給自己唱歌是什麼時候？你上一次給別人唱歌是什麼時候？
When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. 如果你能夠活到90歲並在人生的後60年保留【30歲的心智】或【30歲的身體】，你會選擇哪一個？
If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?

7. 你有一個關於你會如何死去的秘密預感嗎？
Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. 說出三個你和你的實驗對象似乎有的相同之處。
Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. 你對你人生中的什麼最感到感恩？
For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. 如果你能改變你是如何被撫養長大的，你會改變什麼？
If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. 在四分鐘內告訴你的搭檔你的人生故事，越多細節越好。
Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. 如果你能某天早上醒來具有某種品質或能力，那會是什麼？
If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?

13. 如果一個水晶球能夠告訴你關於你，你的人生，你的將來的任何事情，你會想要知道什麼？
If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. 有沒有一件你很長時間以來都夢想去做的事情？你為什麼還沒有去做？
Is there something that you've dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it?

15. 你人生的最大成就是什麼？
What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. 你在一段友誼中最在乎的是什麼？
What do you value most in a friendship?

17. 你最珍惜的記憶是什麼？
What is your most treasured memory?

18. 你最糟糕的記憶是什麼？
What is your most terrible memory?

19. 如果你知道一年內你會突然過世，你會改變任何你現在的生活方式嗎？為什麼？
If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. 友誼對你而言意味著什麼？
What does friendship mean to you?

21. 愛和感情在你人生中充當著什麼樣的角色？
What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. 輪流分享你認為你的實驗對象所擁有的積極的性格特點，一共說五點。
Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. 你的家庭有多緊密和溫暖？你覺得你的童年生活比別的大多數人的要更開心嗎？
How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people's?

24. 你如何看待你與你母親之間的關係？
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

25. 說出三個【我們】相關的正確的陳述。比方說，「我們兩個都在這個房間裡，都感到……」
Make three true "we" statements each. For instance, "we are both in this room feeling..."

26. 將這句話補充完整：「我希望我能有一個可以和我分享……的人。」
Complete this sentence "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..."

27. 如果你和你的實驗對象成為親密的朋友，請分享給她／他很有必要知道的事情。
If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. 告訴你的搭檔你喜歡他們什麼；這次，非常誠實地說出你可能不會給一個剛認識的人說的事情。
Tell your partner what you like about them: be honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you've just met.

29. 給你的搭檔分享一個你的人生中很尷尬的瞬間。
Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. 你上一回在別人面前哭是什麼時候？自己哭是什麼時候？
When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. 告訴你的搭檔一件你已經喜歡他們的事。
Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. 如果有的話，什麼事是嚴肅到不能拿來開玩笑的？
What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. 如果你今晚就要離世，沒有能夠和任何人溝通的機會，你會最後悔沒有給什麼人說什麼事？你為什麼還沒有給他們說呢？
If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet?

34. 放有你所有東西的屋子著火了，在救出你愛的人及寵物之後，你還剩下能夠平安救出一項物品的時間，你會想救出甚麼東西？為什麼？
Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. 在你所有家庭成員當中，誰的離世是令你最煩惱擔憂的？為什麼？
Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. 分享一個私人問題，並且詢問你的同伴，如果是他會如何處理。並請你的同伴告訴你，對於自己選擇的那個問題，你看起來的感覺是如何。
Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

最後，凝視對方四分鐘